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Time to Hit Home

by Ana L. Palles

Comfort "Trading Spaces." The Home and Garden Network. Feng Shui. Work from Home.

Have you noticed an underlying theme here is about our surroundings? We are becoming more conscious of quality of life issues. Recently, the wellness industry has boomed and health and happiness has become a serious focus.

We've started to take a look at the fact that our environment has a huge effect on how we feel. Whether day-to-day at our job or in the home, we are more aware of our surroundings and realize that they are big contributors to our overall sense of well-being.

With our lives becoming increasingly complex, the last 30 or so years have seen us integrate a variety of functions into our living areas. Bedrooms double as home theatres and home offices. Phones let us take our connectivity everywhere including kids sports games, the beach, or church. Our vehicles even allow us to multi-task while driving from place-to-place.

Racing around makes us fit more and more in each day. Unfortunately, all this multi-tasking has not given us the much promised "free time" many marketing campaigns would have us believe. Take a look at the number of people eating out, and the grocery store shelves filled with pre-washed and cut salad. That little bit of service saves you an extra fifteen or thirty minutes.

It starts at work, as companies decide it is time to do "more with less." The work day has gotten more packed and complex. We are weaving more of our work life into our home life, particularly as we try to offset some of our absent time by bringing our work to our home offices. This makes it harder and harder to distinguish one from the other. If only we could do more, and if only we could do it faster.

One place to start is by taking control over the setting that is within your own realm to manage. It starts at home.

Functional Areas

Marriage counselors often advise couples who are growing apart is to make sure their bedroom reflects its function. The reason counselors mention this is because we forget the importance of setting aside a place within our home that is "away" from it all. A safe haven and private retreat. The bedroom is where you dream. The bedroom should be a place of comfort, rest, and romance. A sanctuary.

Home offices do not belong in the bedroom. That is because one's focus when in "the office" is generally around bills, finances, and pending work. Let's not forget that never-ending "to-do" list, demanding bosses, and difficult clients. All such things intrude upon your thoughts. It takes you back through the workday, and prevents you from enjoying the restful atmosphere necessary to good health and happiness.

In any sort of relationship an office in your bedroom is detrimental to that atmosphere of closeness and love that a couple's bedroom represents. The focus should be on one another, not the demands of day to day life. It is important to set aside a space for the sacredness and comfort of the relationship between the couple.

The explosion of day spas and retreat vacations, such as mountain meditation centers or remote islands, has a lot to do with our need to escape the speed and noise that surround us. Noise is so much a part of our day-to-day lives that we sometimes don't realize how much it affects us until we take a quiet walk along a forest path.

Rather than budget out a small fortune for biweekly visits a local spa or retreat center, we can realize and create our own retreats. Our "sacred" spaces within our homes.

Replicating a restful atmosphere at home is not as hard as it may seem. Some people decide that their best path forward is to bring the outdoors in. They recreate a sense of peace that being in nature often brings - a healing of the heart and spirit. A recreation of our feet walking quietly along loamy paths, or breathing in the open air hearing the sounds of birds, the rustling of leaves, and streams flowing.

What is the first step?

The best way to start is with a single room in your house. Decide that this will be your weekend project. Plan it by deciding what you want the end result to look like. Prepare the room with some radical cleanup. Purchase your paint and supplies and you're ready to roll!

That sounds easy, but we know there's a lot more to it. Preparation and planning take a little time to carry off. We've just said that we live in a world where time is precious to us. We have very little of it that is free for our own use.

Instead of preparing and planning, why not just go to the home store, pick up some paint and be done with it? It might just be that simple. However, before you do anything you may want to sit down and quietly figure out what it is that you are trying to accomplish. Spiritually, this is known as setting one's intent. What is it that you want this room to be? What would you like it to feel like when you walk in the door? What do you see around you?

All good business leaders know that you must set the vision for your team before they can accomplish it. You have to be able to communicate it and make the team see it as something tangible. The same is true for creating the type of living space that you want. It is important to get a sense for what the future state of the room looks like, feels like, or even smells like. Use your senses. Listen to yourself and don't forget to take notes!

We'll begin at the beginning by identifying the "what" of the project you are undertaking. Here are some tips on how to start

Creating Beauty at Home

Have you noticed that the really good spas seem to create a feeling of rest and pleasure the moment you set foot in the door? If you've ever been to one, your mind can travel back to that moment when you walked in ready for your massage, facial, or mud wrap.

More than simply the anticipation of spending a few hours getting pampered and walking around in a soft robe and fluffy slippers. The feeling has to do with the attention and planning spent on the environment itself. The objective here is to create ambiance -- a luxurious haven - and those high end spas are very successful at it.

Carve out your own retreat and rediscover the pleasure of home.

Designing a Serene Place

The first step is envisioning what you want your space to look like when you are finished. One technique is to go thru magazines and cut out pictures of rooms that you like. Watching the home makeover shows is another good way of getting exposed to different styles. Visiting model homes so you can get an idea of what life sized rooms look like with different color schemes and furniture placements. Look at the work of designers, but remember that this is your home you are transforming. It should reflect your personality, your history, and your individual style.

Some people adore antiques so they use deep mahogany wood tones or ornate scrollwork on pieces. These are things that evoke immediate feelings of comfort for them, and many like the sense of history that comes with an old piece. Others have a difficult time around antiques. Perhaps there is too much history in these pieces for some people. These folks may prefer a more minimalist style, following the simple and clean lines of Japanese inspired décor. There is an entire spectrum of options in between, all with their own charms that evoke their own particular mood.

Remember that your project does not have to be expensive. Sometimes just freshening up a room's paint and changing out the curtains has an immediate transformative effect. Room layout is another way to change the look and feel of a space without spending a lot. Changing furniture placement and getting new curtains or blinds can break up a stagnant feel of a space and brings in fresh energies.

In terms of planning out possible room layouts, there are several websites that offer access to layout design software.

Alternatively, you can do this simply by drawing out your room using a piece of paper, and by using graph paper each square can represent a foot. Remember to include your window and doorway placements.

Once you have a design in mind, it is time to begin preparing your area.

The Final Frontier

We talk about cleaning clutter during the Spring, but it's a good reminder for us to always be on the lookout for things that no longer serve us. In order to bring new things into your life, you must clear a space for them to come into.

What is it that we want to attract into our lives? If we are hoping to attract new love, it makes sense to clear out your space of those things that represent past relationships. Memories can be sweet, and they can be painful. The objective is to decide what it is that you want the next few years to look like for you.

Sometimes it means letting go of pain, sorrow, and tragedy so that a fresh breeze can enter the room. Other times, we are simply not ready to let go. Perhaps we have just experienced a death, a divorce, or a separation. Often we do not have time in our busy, contemporary lives for too much ceremony. Some cultures grieve for a year and then have a letting go ceremony to say a final goodbye. We forget the importance of taking the time to find closure. Once autumn leaves were new buds on the tree, but they are ready to dance on the wind when the days grow shorter. They must make way for winter's rest and for the new leaves that are to come.

Likewise, go through the things in your house and remember that sometimes it is time for someone else to own a particular piece, or something else to occupy a particular spot. Don't be afraid to let go of things. Have fun giving some of your items to friends, to family. or to shelters. Always give thanks for having had the time to enjoy these things and rejoice in giving someone else the opportunity to discover a treasure. Let the heart release.

Be radical in your approach. Practice the fine art of streamlining. If you look at an object in your home and it reminds you of something sad or hurtful, put it away or get rid of it. If it's gathering dust, get rid of it. If you haven't touched it in many years, get rid of it.

Think of your things as an orchestra. Do they play a harmonious melody together, or are they all just making a lot of noise? Do you even have the space for all the "things?" Are you finding that shelves are not artfully arranged, but are instead stuffed with a mixed assortment? Do justice to beautiful pieces.

Remember that clutter subtracts from your life, so less really is more. Your retreat space should not be a motley garage sale. Don't make it complicated for the eye or the brain to take in which is what happens when there is a lot of "stuff" everywhere. Keep it calm and simple.

As you are going through your things, you may want to think about picking out those pieces that really bring you pleasure and joy. They can be your focal point of inspiration for the room. Perhaps it's a vase that you picked up in your travels through China. Or maybe it's a piece of jewelry whose colors and feel transport you into the depths of earth. Or the fragrance of jasmine blossoms you remember from your childhood. You may even want to use a travel photograph as your inspiration. These items can provide a theme for the room, something that you want to showcase, a palette of colors, or a feeling.

She Dreams of Colors Everywhere

Have you noticed that on those home improvement shows almost everyone says "color" when asked about what they want done to a room? Color feeds our eyes and our minds. The wellness industry has even spawned specialties focusing on color therapy for healing. Research has shown that colors can be calming or exciting. Colors trigger emotional responses.

In his book, "The Power of Color" (Avery Publishing Group, 1991), Dr. Morton Walker provides various insights, history, and research surrounding color and its use. For example, pink has been used in jails to calm prisoners and there is evidence to suggest that ancient cultures used color for healing. Morton writes, "Color accounts for 60 percent of the acceptance or rejection of an object and is a critical factor in the success of any visual experience."

When planning colors for your special retreat, use colors such as sage green, soft blues, or lavenders for a cool, calming feeling. If the idea is rest, don't go with bright yellows, reds, or oranges that inspire wakefulness and movement. The objective is slowing down and creating a space for solitude.

When planning a child's room, think about the environment you want to create for the child. Some new mothers choose a sunny yellow for their first baby's room because it is a bright, stimulating color that may help with alertness. But in other cases, yellow may be too stimulating with a baby that has trouble settling down or is colicky. Soft calming colors might be the better choice in the latter case.

It is easy to see what colors come into fashion by taking a look at appliances, cars, and fashion. Sarah Van Arsdale writes,

Style trends seem to be leaning towards appreciating the outdoors and incorporating nature in our interiors. Organic colors seem to be more popular. Warm colors of the sunset, greens found in the backyard and the neutrals from the wetlands are all popular.

Earth toned, organic colors help us bring the outdoors in and this inspires us to recreate the pleasant feelings we get when we are enjoying nature. Evoking that emotional response helps to set the stage for relaxation and enjoyment.

Popular fashion aside, color should be chosen because it creates the type of feeling that you are trying to establish in your home. Remember that color is only one of the variables in creating the look and feel you want. We have a variety of senses at our disposal. It is fun to think of ways to appeal and stimulate to them.

For more information on color, check out the following:

C'mon and Touch Me

When shopping, many women have the need to touch everything -- fabrics, pottery, furniture, rugs, clothes, bed linens, towels, you name. Lots of things must pass the touch test before they make it out the door.

Textures feed our sense of comfort. Egyptian cotton sheets with high thread count are prized because of their softness. The same goes for bath towels. There is an emphasis on overstuffed pillows, lots of them, and nurturing mattresses. Our beds have nearly become cocoons. But it's not just with our mattresses and bed linens that we want to experience this sense of comfort - bathrobes, curtains, sofa fabrics, and our clothes must also feel good against our skin.

In the article on "The Components for a Healing Environment" from patientexperience.nhsestates.gov.uk, the author says that babies "and young children are the great touchers and explorers, learning by using sensitive fingers, tongues and lips to confirm what they see. They explore, and then run back to adults for the tension-reducing touch. Physical contact is the ultimate signal that they are safe."

One of my favorite premium hotels has a plush mattress, a feather bed on top, and a lightweight down comforter with an Egyptian cotton duvet. The rich, thick tapestry curtains on the windows ensures that I have complete darkness when I want to sleep. The room is always prepared in the evenings with turn down service and music plays softly when I walk through the door.

My body feels all the cues for a relaxing, luxurious night's sleep. After finishing a steam shower, I pad across the thick carpeting in the thick robe ready for bed. We want a sensory experience that takes us to a heightened state of relaxation. It doesn't have to just be something we experience at a resort. Make your home your resort.

So go ahead and touch those fabrics. Take your time. Choose the textures that feel good against your skin. Make your space a place where you can feed all your senses.

Sounds of Silence

Do not forget the importance of silence. In many spas, one of the first things you see upon walking through the door is a "Shhh" sign. "Please turn off your phones" also reminds us. Everyone speaks just barely above a whisper and you are imbued with a sense that this is a time for relaxation.

You can experience this at home as well. Make your retreat space a place that encourages soft voices, quiet ambiance, and refreshment for the mind. A small fountain or a disc player with nature sounds can help provide cues for the mind that it's time to disconnect and shut out the outside world for a while.

Invest in a good stereo system or music player and pick out some soft sounds the next time you shop. The sound of water and birds calling can be a nice backdrop for sitting in a comfy chair and reading your favorite novel.

If you have children, it is a good idea to teach them that this room is your special sanctuary. This is your sacred space and should be treated with respect. It is important for children to understand and learn to discern that different environments call for different behaviors.

You may want to set aside twenty or thirty minutes a day for meditation. Not necessarily a practice just for those with a religious bend, meditation can provide health benefits for stress management and high blood pressure.

The use of meditation in health care settings, and for stress reduction is related to discoveries about the mind-body connection in health and illness, which have been made in Western medicine over the last 25 to 30 years. In that time, researchers have discovered that the mind and the body are intimately connected. It is now known that thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and stress all have a great impact on health and illness.

The key is creating a space for yourself.

Lights … Action!

The lighting in a room is a big contributor to the overall ambiance and feeling a room evokes. Lighting gives your brain cues. It can set the stage for business, for rest, and calms or excites brain activity.

Bright lights are stimulating and designed to get you revved up. Many of us associate fluorescent lighting with offices, so once again, fluorescents are not the best choice for your bedroom.

However, Snowlab design introduced a new fluorescent Therapie lamp in 2002. Therapie lamps are designed to assist with seasonal effective disorder that is especially prevalent during winter months. The lamp design won a Time Magazine Invention of the Year award (link?)

If you tend to suffer from depression during the winter months, lighting is particularly important for you to setup in your space. You may also want to explore the new salt crystal lamps (link?). These lamps are billed as natural ionizers and healing tools. Europeans are known to frequent therapeutic facilities located in various salt mines. The practice is called speleotherapy.

The lamps are also attractive and set a different ambiance which may be in keeping with the feel you are trying to achieve. The best guide is your own inner knowing about what is going to work best for you. Listen to yourself.

Remember to plan the lighting in your new space to fit the mood you are trying to create. Lamps tend to be warmer and are more conducive to soft moods. Try out the new bulbs that mimic sunrise, daylight, dusk, or provide the tones in the room you enjoy. You will be surprised at what a huge difference these make.

The candle industry is estimated at about $2.5 billion annually and has been experiencing steady growth. Researchers say that the reason for the strong candle sales performance is due to the increase in stress. Always keep a few candles around for meditation or just to create a softer ambiance. They can help.

What's that Smell?

We have a love affair with fragrances in this country. We know we respond to different smells, just like we respond to color. Certain smells remind us of fond or precious memories. Some calm us, some agitate us, and others make us hungry or even agitated. Some revitalize us and some just help us clear our minds. The field of aromatherapy has become quite popular. It is even used in stores and in corporations to stimulate sales and employee productivity.

Consider the number of laundry products, pet deodorizers, carpet products, and air fresheners. Linen sprays are a relative newcomer on the fragrance scene and are designed to make your fabrics and bed sheets smell pleasant and attractive. Primarily, linen sprays are a mixture of distilled water and a variety of essential oils with fragrances designed to bring relaxation. Lavender, clary sage, and vanilla are commonly used. The idea is to spray these on your pillows at bedtime and breathe deeply.

You can use aromatherapy to trigger the restful response you are trying to create. Every bath and body shop has an aromatherapy or spa section. Check them out and remember that some of these pricey products are easily made at home. Head down to your local store and test a few. Try out just a few at a time or you might become overloaded.

For more information on Aromatherapy, check out the following:

Beauty

We enjoy beauty and beauty is a lot of different things. The beauty of our surroundings is a mixture of what our senses feel and take in. A good friend of mine used to stop and remind me to just breathe. It's simple, and an action that we take for granted and ignore. Yet breathing with conscious intent enables us to take in the air and feed our bodies. It reminds us to notice the scent of wet leaves or new mown grass. Somehow, even though we all breathe several thousand times a day, I needed a reminder that I needed to stop and smell the roses. This is a key to health and to finding rest: stopping and taking in what is around you -- breathing the very sparkle of life into our very core.

Create for yourself a place of beauty, breath, and rest. Create your own retreat and watch how, suddenly, things have a way of falling into place. Suddenly you've prepared yourself for what's to come.

In beauty I walk
With beauty before me I walk
With beauty behind me I walk
With beauty above me I walk
With beauty around me I walk
It has become beauty again
It has become beauty again
It has become beauty again
It has become beauty again

-- Closing Prayer of the Navajo Blessing Way