by Ana L. Palles

How are you doing today?

I don’t know about you, but by the time I hit thirty I already had a solid glimpse of ageing. I had backaches, I hurt when I got up in the morning, and I realized that my get up and go spark was gone.

Feeling sluggish has a huge impact on our lives and how we see ourselves. It is part of that happiness equation we all try to get right.

I remembered what “get up and go” was like, and periodically I would sit and daydream about the “good ole days.”

When I was thirteen I woke up enthusiastic about the day. Often I would ride my bike and head over to the pool at the recreation center and hook up with friends to partner up for chicken fights in the water. Time would fly by as we were fully absorbed in knocking one another over, then the lifeguard would sharply trill his whistle announcing break time. Everyone sat quietly by the pool for ten minutes to rest. Geez! We had just started!

Of course, it was nice that our most significant responsibilities during our summer breaks were making sure we put on sunscreen, avoiding contact with evil strangers, and cleaning up our rooms.

We’d “Go, Go, Gadget” until dinner time then sit down for our mom’s big home cooked meal. We spent our evenings either playing rock and roll records – our latest 45 RPM purchase – and dancing around our room till we were all in a sweat, or else sit on the phone with friends. We didn’t ache, we didn’t have heartburn, we didn’t have sagging skin, and we certainly didn’t feel tired. And we were ready to do it all again the next day.

Twenty years later, I remember sitting at my bedside one morning as I dragged myself awake in preparation for heading off to work. I was thinking, geez, this has to be age – and guess what, it’s not going to get any better.

The worst part was that I had put on a lot of weight between my teens and my thirties. Pregnancies, an anguished three years helping my husband fight cancer, and the years of grief after his death, all led me down the path of comfort food. I certainly felt in need of a lot of comforting; six dress sizes’ worth of comforting to be exact. Then the lightbulb just went on. Of course, I had backaches, trouble getting up in the morning, and constant fatigue. I was carrying around an extra 100 pounds.

I had dieted many times, once losing sixty-five pounds. Even if the scale was moving in the right direction I still felt the weight of my years. I knew that I had to change things, but wasn’t sure what.

But, you know, it was more than that.

In my late thirties, I decided it was time for some radical change. Career, lifestyle, and location change was on the ticket. My sister and I sold the bakery we had owned for five years and decided to move our families halfway across the country to a city and state we knew only thru Mork and Mindy episodes.

This took some get up and go. Neither of us were particularly revved up in those days, having worked so hard and for such long hours at the bakery. Still, we certainly got our gumption up, put our houses up for sale, and either hauled or shipped everything across the country.

The time had come to start afresh in a place that, compared to the urban areas we had lived in, resembled Oz.

Change, It’s a Comin …

I had accomplished a lot by the time I hit my forties. We completed our move in spite of hurricanes, family deaths, and fluctuating job markets. Our new home was built and life was starting afresh once again. Also, I decided the time was ripe to go back to school for a Masters degree.

Still, I felt that I was really dragging. It was pure strength of will to accomplish things that kept me moving. I was getting sick a lot too which added to my exhaustion. Every cold that came along became my season companion, turning into bronchitis and dragging for months. Until the next cold popped up and we were back to square one.

Looking at the other moms who were mostly perky and involved, I felt inadequate as a parent. Going for parent/ teacher meetings in the evenings, or attending weekend school events took a lot of willpower. All I wanted to do when I got home from the office was crash. Again chalked it up to the natural progression of years.

As I looked around and saw a lot of folks older than me running around, seemingly indefatigable, and looking happy, I knew something had to give,. The time came for a change. I knew it, my body knew it, and I figured I’d better get with the program and help in the change process, or else face the continuing slump.

Coincidentally, all of this occurred at a time that astrologically speaking, was ripe for change – Pluto entering Sagittarius. Pluto is known as a force that you may as well work with because you certainly cannot avoid it. Change was definitely on the ticket.

It’s All in Your Head

As overweight as I was, I still thought that I didn’t eat that much. It was funny, I realized one day that I was completely on auto pilot, not even realizing that I was putting anything in my mouth.

True to all the authors that have written about stress and cravings, my eating habits were obsessive and had little to do with hunger or even with the food itself. I don’t know why it took all those years for me to figure it out, but finally I stood back from myself enough that I suddenly heard the rubber band snap. I was eating without even thinking. This had to stop.

As I looked hard at what I was doing with food, at the fact that I was going to bed full each night, I began to associate feeling badly with overeating. This was a huge departure for someone that associated food with comfort, love, celebrations, abundance, and happiness.

The first thing that happened is I began to develop a strong craving for natural foods and greens. Now, I had always loved the idea of natural foods, of fresh from the garden vegetables, and grains. I always made sure to use the best ingredients in my baking – organic, natural, no artificial colorings, or preservatives.

I remember the strange look I got at the farmer’s market when I went back for my second bag of nasturtium mixed greens and flowers. I was making myself the most marvelous salads with lemon juice, garlic salt, and organic virgin olive oil. I told the sales clerk how I loved the beautiful nasturtium salads, craving that peppery taste and the freshness of the flavor. She said “uh huh” without even cracking a smile. She was someone’s teenaged daughter and I’m sure she figured these were the ravings of a middle aged lunatic.

The truth was, my tastes were changing, little by little and my body was craving the peppery nasturtiums for a reason. They cleanse and purify, and are packed with vitamin C and phosphorous.

Wake Up and Smell the Coffee

After having my gallbladder removed, I realized the time had come to look after support and supplementation. I had always been interested in herbs, both for cooking and medicinal purposes. My grandmother used to walk in the yard and pick fresh herbs with which to make a tisane. One of the herbs she used was dandelion which is a good tonic for liver and kidneys.

I signed up for a six week class with a local herbalist to learn more about herbs and health. It was a wonderful class and we learned about the uses of herbs on a variety of levels. She spoke about well being, sexuality, addictions, and grief. It was late spring and the recent loss of a friend made me a good candidate for grief support.

The herbalist showed us how to make a batch of violet honey to help heal the heart. I sat on many a rainy spring day having my tea and spreading that healing violet honey on my tiny crackers. Whether it was a function of time, the violet honey, or both, I did find that the pain lessened. I once again discovered my capacity for joy and hope in the world.

I learned a lot in that class and had great fun slowly but surely beginning to assemble a regimen for myself. I was fortunate in that the area in which I live supports a variety of organic grocers and herbalists. With approval from my doctor, I began a routine of taking my vitamin supplements with a glass of water mixed with a dropper-full of an herbal tincture.

Some of my favorites were the female support, liver, and kidney tonics. There are several good manufacturers of herbal tinctures and they all have their own support formula blends. If you are planning on supplementing with herbs, make sure to educate yourself and always check with your doctor. Stores such as Vitamin Cottage and Whole Foods generally have herbalists on their staff that can provide guidance and information.

Change didn’t happen for me all at once, but over the course of time. I realized that I was feeling better. The world was brighter and I had more energy. Frankly, that had been the whole point.

Our outlook on our lives really does hinge around how we are feeling. That sense of hopelessness and depression is sometimes based on real physical issues, not just psychological. I often hear from relatives and friends about the effects of a sluggish thyroid. Severe depression is one of the symptoms which is why it is so important to make sure you have regular checkups with your doctor.

The lifestyle changes I was making, both with the shift in my eating habits and with the supplementation I was adding to my diet, sparked my interest to read further. I began to really focus on what my skin and body were telling me and I went with my instinct. I trusted my inner guidance on what was healthy and nourishing for me. I started reading labels and made conscious choices both about what I put on my body as well as inside of it.

I started a course in rolfing and yoga to improve my posture and flexibility. I read about the benefits these practices had on the internal organs and one’s well being. It was a no brainer. One session in rolfing and I knew that things had shifted. One session in yoga and I felt such warmth flowing through my spine that I wanted to keep that sense of vitality up. I took up cardio exercise which has done a lot for my endurance. I was religious about acupuncture appointments for overall support and balancing.

Where before I tried to ignore my body, I now do my best to listen, and respond when something seems like it is out of sorts. The results have been a huge increase in my energy levels, a ninety pound weight loss and an improvement in my outlook on life. The weight loss occurred naturally without focusing on a specific diet largely because I started to pay attention. This is precisely one of the points made by Geneen Roth, New York Times best seller author, workshop coach and columnist.

“…For the first twenty-five years of my life, I had a constant feeling that I could not get enough. Realizing that I could get enough food - and still lose weight - was a major turning point. If you want to lose weight, you can do it by eating only when you're hungry and stopping when you've had enough. But this thought is frightening to most people, because it means taking responsibility and trusting yourself. It goes against the machinery of the culture - particularly the $33 billion-a-year diet industry. Most people like to be told what to do, especially when it comes to food. That's part of the lure of diets: they make people feel like children again, because they tell us that we cannot be trusted to handle food; that we are not capable of making up our own minds and having control over how we eat…”

A quarter pound burger with the melted cheese and mushrooms sure sounds delicious, and there is no reason not to order it. However, it has been my experience that often you can really feel satisfied after eating half. I often ask the waiter for a box as he’s dropping the order off. If you make the decision up front to box up a half, you aren’t faced with a struggle with each bite you take. By boxing it up, you know that you haven’t given anything up. It’s still yours.

Honestly, I think that some of our primal instincts come into play when we eat the entire plate even though we know that the portions are huge. We realize fifteen minutes after finishing it that we are uncomfortably full. While it’s true that we don’t want to waste food, there is also a deep sense that this is our food and that it represents survival buried somewhere in the backs of our brains.

The best part about it, once you’ve accepted that the half is boxed up and going home with you, satisfaction is easier to achieve. Portion sizing has really gotten out of control and unfortunately we have trained ourselves to believe that whatever we are served is correct. This is not always the case and causes us anxiety over weight gain. Of course, this creates a host of physical ailments associated to overeating.

Now at a size fourteen, I am still overweight but healthier and feeling better than I did twenty years ago. I eat what I want and am much more conscious of the food and lifestyle choices I make. I really try to listen to my body and understand what it is telling me.

Mixed messages? I don’t think so. It’s all about moderation. I don’t see a reason to say, “I will never again have a piece of cheesecake.” That’s silly. Instead, my motto is to eat what you want, but do it with intent and try to understand a few things about what you eat.

For example, why are you craving specific foods and what do you notice as the effects? How much of this do you really need to eat right now to feel satisfied? Are you really taking the time to savor and enjoy the flavours? As Geneen Roth asks, are you present and truly enjoying what you are eating?

"Show up, not just for meals, but for your life. Taste the food. Sit down. Focus on what you're doing."

The Buck Stops Here

Taking responsibility and trusting yourself is the foundation that we often overlook. Start noticing the impact different things have on your life and on how you feel. Choose to take control over your body and your well being. Are you healthy? How is your color? How is your energy level? Your digestion, breathing, your nails and gums? Look at all the information your body gives you and take action to benefit and improve the quality of your life.

Once I focused on doing good things for myself, I realized that papaya, avocado, and yogurt in my refrigerator easily converted into ingredients for hair and skin masques. My daughters joined me in our spa days, as we gave ourselves facials and mixed up body butters.

My theory is that we all know innately what our bodies need, what is good for us, what we have to do to improve how we feel. We simply choose not to listen to ourselves. Or worse, we sometimes choose to abdicate responsibility, and control over our well being to others, such as fast food companies.

Evolve into someone who is more aware of the cause and effect factor in their life. Information is available out there. Educate yourself.

Feeling good is a big part of refurbishing our lives. We have to separate the wheat from the chaff when it comes to our day to day functioning. There are always things we can do to help ourselves feel better. We have to remember that it’s hard to focus on the beauty of the walk when we have a pebble in our shoe.

There are a number of great resources out there on herbal, mineral and food supplement support for the body. Here are a few suggestions to spark your interest:

• Lemon Balm (Melissa) tea is a great calming and tonifying drink
• Chopped fresh ginger in honey and lemon is excellent for colds
• Dandelion either as a tincture or eaten fresh (in the spring time) is cleansing for the bloodstream, liver and kidneys
• Add pumpkin and sunflower seeds in salads to provide essential fatty acids. Pumpkin seed is useful for prostrate support
• Juice 2-3 organic carrots, 3-4 celery stalks and 1 cucumber (peeled), drink a glass to deliver vital nutrients and help cool and soothe the urinary tract
• Milk thistle is among the most potent liver protecting substances available. It stimulates the production of new liver cells and protects against damage
• Help tonify men’s bodies with ginger, nettle and ginseng
• Ginger and cinnamon can be helpful during a woman’s menstrual cycle (not to be used if pregnant)
• Bach White Chestnut flower essence is very effective for calming circular, stressful thinking
• Lavender pillows or sachets assist with restful sleep

Sources
The Herb Bible, Jennie Harding
Prescription for Nutritional Healing, James F. Balch, MD, Phyllis A. Balch, C.N.C. http://www.geneenroth.com/quest.html