by Ada M. Palles

In whose hands does your destiny reside? Does your success depend upon the success of your employer? Upon the decisions your spouse makes? Upon the fickle ups-and-downs of the stock market? Or upon (God forbid) the suggestions of your broker? 

Only when you realize that you are the only one responsible for your own life, that you must take charge and take control of your own fate, will you begin to shape your destiny. 

Ready to create the life you want? Then, let's play! Get out your pencil and a notebook, and let's begin the fun but important work of designing a brand new life. 

1. Wake Up! There is no one who is incapable of achieving success. No one. There are famous "C" students and high school dropouts who have been able to achieve extraordinary success. So, if they can do it, then you are just as capable of achieving the level of success that you desire.
2. Attitude Adjustment: Once you truly wake up to the fact that you are perfectly capable of achieving your goals and being successful, then you need to start thinking and acting like it. If you are not feeling confident, excited and certain of this truth, then you need to work on yourself first.
   HOMEPLAY: Rent a copy of What The Bleep? Or The Secret. Go to your local library or favorite bookstore and peruse the bookshelves. There are a number of excellent books out there that will open your mind to exploration and inspiration. Make notes on your own thoughts regarding the ideas on those pages, and make your plan to get yourself into the right mindset for success.
3. Vision: What do you want? What are your dreams? What will it take in order for you to feel successful in your life?
   HOMEPLAY: This exercise will take some time. Write down your goals, your dreams, your aspirations. Ask yourself, "What do you want out of life?" Then spend some time visualizing yourself surrounded by those things: that expensive car, the bulging bank account, your dream house, your dream job, that fantastic body, or that fulfilling relationship. Envision every detail — sketch it in your notebook, cut images from magazines that embody it and tape them in your journal, think about it often until you have a clear picture of the life you want to lead.
4. Fear: Fear exerts an incredible influence over all of us. Sometimes for good reason. But, many times, for irrational ones. Fear of failure or fear of success, either way you slice it, is an impediment to attaining your goals. For that reason, it is vitally important that you address your fears and deal with them immediately.
   HOMEPLAY: Now that you have your list of goals and dreams, make a new list of all the fears you have surrounding them. Why haven't you realized your goals yet? What is preventing you from pursuing your dreams? Write them all down and list next to them the worst possible thing that can happen, what would the consequences be, and how likely would it be for these to actually occur. Then go back and determine whether your goal is worth the risk or not.
5. Program Yourself to Succeed: Your mind is an amazing onboard computer that literally creates your experiences of the world. If there is only "Garbage In" (negative self-talk) then you will only get "Garbage Out" (failure and disappointment). Instead, you will plant the seeds of success in your brain, so that the only things you get are blossoms of success. Affirmations are the key to this step.
   HOMEPLAY: With your list of Dreams and Goals in mind, make your own list of affirmations and integrate them into your mind and life.
6. Know Yourself: In order for you to succeed, you need to know what skills, talents and expertise you bring to the table. Perhaps more importantly, you need to understand your weaknesses, the things that you are not good at, so that you can find the right resources, the missing talents and skill areas you will need to succeed.
   HOMEPLAY: Make a list of all your strengths and weaknesses. Review these with a trusted friend or advisor and revise your list. This will give you good insights into areas that you may be taking for granted.
7. Filling in the Gaps: Before you can begin on creating your dreams, you may need to fill in the gaps you have identified. You may have the germ of an idea, but the know-how is missing. Begin to fill-in the gaps by finding your resources.
   • Research - If you require knowledge, then you must devote time to research. Search for information on the Internet, study in the library, spend time in bookstores reading and picking up the latest books you will need. Talk to experts in the field, many of whom are happy to provide an informational interview. Make a date to meet for lunch or tapas at happy hour.
   • Talent - Seek out the talent you need. People have all kinds of surprising areas of expertise. Find out what your co-workers do in their spare time. Ask your neighbors about their hobbies or club affiliations. You will be amazed at the resources that are all around you if you just take the time to find out about the people in your life. You may discover the very expertise you're looking for right beneath your nose.
   • Broaden your Connections: Regardless of how many people you know, in order to get your ideas in motion, you will surely have to broaden your pool of resources. Join clubs, organizations, networking groups where you are most likely to find the resources you need, and start making connections now.
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing. - Wernher Von Braun
8. Map It: No, don't go to MapQwest. It's time to list your goals and break them down into manageable bits that you can actually handle — bits that will build upon themselves to reach your dreams.
   HOMEPLAY: Begin to lay out the course for your road to success. Create a map on how to achieve your goals by listing out the steps necessary for getting to your destination. There are other resources on the web to help you create a life plan. Check out the University of Illinois website for some interesting resources.