by Jacylyn Stokes
As I stare into her lost brown eyes,
I fear for her.
Her fears are my fears.
She will never know how much I love her,
And how much I would give up for her.
I can hear her screaming.
I can hear her bleeding.
But most of all,
I can feel her heart breaking.
It breaks me to know I can never truly help her.
I can never be enough for her.
I want more than anything to help her
to be her rock again.
I want her strength.
I never want to leave her
But I know one day I will.
I want her to stop being in pain.
I want her to imagine her dreams again.
I want her o feel like she can live them.
I want life for her that is nothing but happiness.
She deserves more.
She deserves something greater.
She deserves to be free.
She deserves to feel beautiful.
She deserves to be happy.
But I will never be able to give her that happiness.
I thought I could.
I thought I could make it better for her.
I thought I could heal the wounds And wipe the tears.
All I can do is cover the wounds till they heal,
And be the shoulder her tears fall on.
But maybe she does not want me.
Even though I am all she truly has, she cannot cry on me anymore.
I miss her most days.
And on those days I see her.
But she is lost.
And I need to find my own way and stop looking for hers.
It is hard to realize that finally I have to stop.
Stop being the one who dreams for her.
Stop being the one who holds on for her.
Because only she can do that
And I will not be enough for her. Ever. I am not mad at her.
I am mad at the life she was given.
I am mad at myself for thinking she was perfect.
She is better than perfect.
She is real.