Love Love Love

Love can fill us with dream-filled bliss, quiet contentment or sometimes with heart wrenching pain. And no matter how young or old we are, love in one form or another marks the journey we walk in life. While our understanding and experience of love evolves over time, one thing seems constant. This is the desire to be with the person or people we love.

As we enter adulthood, we learn the difference between love and lust. What is perhaps less obvious is that making love is an expression not only of the love we feel for our partner, but of the love we feel for ourselves too. In many ways, it is a celebration of our capacity to feel at many levels. It’s a subtle observation, but one worth exploring.

Try lying perfectly still for just a few moments next to your partner and notice all those small sensations that your body is feeling. Things like the rhythm of your breath, the softness of fabric against your skin, the room temperature enveloping you, or the smell of soap scrubbed skin.

Are you relaxed, or tense? Do you feel luxurious and free or anxious and stressed? What does your body like, what doesn’t it like?

This Valentine’s Day try celebrating the love you feel for your partner by finding the love you feel for yourself also. You will be surprised how once you start opening yourself to love, it fills everything you touch.

Love Your Body

I know so many women, and a few men, who are filled with such self loathing that they cannot stand the sight of their own bodies. Learn to love all of you, bulging belly, flabby arms and cellulite thighs. If you talk to friends or family members that have lost loved ones you will find that focusing on these perceived flaws and self criticisms is a waste of precious time. We are loved for who we are, and those thighs, arms and belly are a part of that.

Practice loving your body by taking your time washing yourself in the shower. Use your loveliest soaps and washes. Honor your body by treating it as a treasure. It is.

Dry yourself gently and notice how warm and tender the skin is. Your body has enabled you to experience some amazing adventures in life. Think about it and thank your body for all it does. Splash some floral water on your skin, or massage in some scented oils. Spend time noticing small patches of skin. Notice the warmth, texture and softness. Take your time, focus on gratitude, feel and observe.

Find Your Joys

Each of us has a decadent joy. For some, it can be sitting by a blazing fire with a glass of wine and a good book. For others, it might be body surfing in a crystal blue ocean, or maybe skiing down a fast downhill run. We each have something that is pure heaven for us. Unfortunately, we tend to forget that because we lead such busy lives, sometimes the only way we can enjoy these activities is by putting them on our calendars.

I know that some might say that this takes the spontaneity out, effectively squashing a big chunk of fun and adventure. I get it. The problem is that there is always something that needs doing and we overlook the fact that joy is at least as important as the laundry. Growing up, this was something my dad understood well. Just remember that at the end of days, we won’t be counting how well we did our laundry, we’ll be looking back on how often we smiled.

Think of Others

We are talking about love, after all. And it is Valentine’s. So think of little things you can do that show others how much you care. How do I love thee? Indeed, let me count the ways. Maybe it’s getting up early and making French toast for our partner, or giving them a foot massage after a long day at work. Maybe it’s tucking a note into their pocket for them to find later in the day. And maybe it’s looking deep into their eyes when they leave the house and saying I love you with a little blessing and fire from your soul.

And what about a friend who is dealing with an illness? Why not stop by with some groceries, a fun magazine or a movie DVD. Or run by the pet food store and pick up a big bag of food for your local shelter. How about offering your friend a couple of hours of free babysitting?

After all, there are many ways in which we can express love. Our bodies know the language of love, and we respond to it. Our hearts open and we expand our energy. The warmth of a mother’s hand as she rubs an aching belly, the comfortable embrace of a friend who will bring you chicken soup when you’re sick, and the deep kiss of the heart – all form imprints of communication. It is a language read by the heart.

It all begins with you. Flow love within your own heart and let it fill you. The heart is like a fountain of light that fills us with warmth and joy, if we let it. And when we’re filled with that deep inner love, it flows around us like a breeze caressing and holding the ones we love.