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Affirmations and Light Bulbs?

! Sign Affirmations

  • Aries I am
  • Taurus I possess
  • Gemini I think
  • Cancer I feel
  • Leo I shine
  • Virgo I critique
  • Libra I make choices
  • Scorpio I desire
  • Sagittarius I aspire
  • Capricorn I build
  • Aquarius I know
  • Pisces I care

A New Age Q & A

Q: How many Aries does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes a heck of a lot of light bulbs.

Q: How many Taurus does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What, me move?

Q: How many Gemini does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 2

Q: How many Cancer does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he has to bring his mother.

Q: How many Leos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: A dozen. One to change the bulb, and eleven to applaud.

Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to clean out the socket, one to dust the bulb, one to install, and two engineers to check the work.

Q: How many Libras does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Libras can't decide if the bulb needs to be changed.

Q: How many Scorpios does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They LIKE the dark.

Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to install the bulb, and a Virgo to pick up the pieces.

Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The light's fine as it is.

Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Have you asked the bulb if it WANTS to be changed?

Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What light bulb?

Q: How many astrologers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: "Don't ask me now, Mercury's retrograde!"

Q: How many New Agers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change it and four to share the experience!

Q: How many New Agers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We don't use light bulbs, we just think happy thoughts at our quartz crystals and they glow.

Q: How many years does it take for a New Ager to change a light bulb?
A: Well, it takes many many years, unless you pay $650 US non refundable, Visa or MC accepted. Then you can do it after the weekend intensive training seminar.

Q: How many Boulderites (as in Boulder, CO, a haven of New Agers) does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They just join self-help groups to learn to live with darkness in their lives.


Sources

 

  1. "Sign Affirmations" was collected online from multiple sources, the originator is unknown.
  2. "A New Age Q & A" original authors were anonymous or unknown.

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