Affirmations and Light Bulbs?
Sign Affirmations
- Aries I am
- Taurus I possess
- Gemini I think
- Cancer I feel
- Leo I shine
- Virgo I critique
- Libra I make choices
- Scorpio I desire
- Sagittarius I aspire
- Capricorn I build
- Aquarius I know
- Pisces I care
A New Age Q & A
Q: How many Aries does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes a heck of a lot of light bulbs.
Q: How many Taurus does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What, me move?
Q: How many Gemini does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 2
Q: How many Cancer does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he has to bring his mother.
Q: How many Leos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: A dozen. One to change the bulb, and eleven to applaud.
Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to clean out the socket, one to dust the bulb, one to install, and two engineers to check the work.
Q: How many Libras does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Libras can't decide if the bulb needs to be changed.
Q: How many Scorpios does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They LIKE the dark.
Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to install the bulb, and a Virgo to pick up the pieces.
Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The light's fine as it is.
Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Have you asked the bulb if it WANTS to be changed?
Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: What light bulb?
Q: How many astrologers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: "Don't ask me now, Mercury's retrograde!"
Q: How many New Agers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change it and four to share the experience!
Q: How many New Agers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We don't use light bulbs, we just think happy thoughts at our quartz crystals and they glow.
Q: How many years does it take for a New Ager to change a light bulb?
A: Well, it takes many many years, unless you pay $650 US non refundable, Visa or MC accepted. Then you can do it after the weekend intensive training seminar.
Q: How many Boulderites (as in Boulder, CO, a haven of New Agers) does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They just join self-help groups to learn to live with darkness in their lives.
Sources
- "Sign Affirmations" was collected online from multiple sources, the originator is unknown.
- "A New Age Q & A" original authors were anonymous or unknown.